


SHIELD - The Musical

by thehaikubandit



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008), Wicked - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Inspired by Music, Musicals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:58:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 5,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2401031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehaikubandit/pseuds/thehaikubandit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not much to say, other than I rewrote the songs from Wicked to fit with Shield and the Avengers. Thank you so much to everyone who helped beta this! The time periods jump about a little.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No One Mourns the Wicked

**Author's Note:**

> Not as happy with this one as much as the others, which is a sad way to start. But bear with me! For context, everyone thinks the Winter Soldier is dead so that Bucky can get on with things.

AGENTS OF SHIELD

Good news! He’s dead!  
The Winter Soldier is dead!  
The wickedest man there ever was  
The enemy of all of us here in Shield  
Is dead!  
Good news!  
Good news!

AGENT

(Spoken)  
Look! It's the Captain!

STEVE

(Spoken)  
Fellow Agents  
(Sung)  
Let us be glad  
Let us be grateful  
Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue  
The wicked workings of you-know-who  
Isn't it nice to know  
That good will conquer evil?  
The truth we all believe'll by and by  
Outlive a lie  
For you and

MALE OR FEMALE AGENT

No one mourns the wicked

FEMALE AGENT

No one cries "They won't return!"

AGENTS

No one lays a lily on their grave

MALE AGENT

The good man scorns the wicked!

FEMALE AGENT

Through their lives, our children learn

AGENTS

What we miss, when we misbehave

STEVE

And goodness knows  
The wicked's lives are lonely  
Goodness knows  
The wicked die alone  
It just shows when you're wicked  
You're left only  
On your own

AGENTS

Yes, goodness knows  
The wicked's lives are lonely  
Goodness knows  
The wicked cry alone  
Nothing grows for the wicked  
They reap only  
What they've sown

STEVE

(Spoken)  
Are people born wicked?  
Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?  
After all, he had a past. He had a friend, as so many do

BUCKY

How I hate to go and leave you lonely.

STEVE

That's alright – I know one of us must fight

BUCKY

But know that you're here in my heart  
While I'm out of your sight

STEVE

(Spoken)  
And like all friends - they had their secrets

DR ERSKINE

I can’t let you drink, my newest patient  
You’ve got one more night left, in this form  
So I’ll have to drink a toast to success  
It can’t be worse than my last test  
So take your shirt off please, get ready  
It’s time for you to transform

STEVE

(Spoken)  
And of course, from the moment Hydra found him he was - well - different

ZOLA

I found him

HYDRA AGENT

Where?

ZOLA

You see, I found him!

HYDRA AGENT

His arm!

ZOLA

I’ve made one new

HYDRA AGENT

I see metal

BOTH

He’s a healthy, perfect,  
Deadly, violent

ZOLA

AAAHHH!!!!

HYDRA AGENT

(Spoken)  
My god!

AGENT TWO

(Spoken)  
What is it? What's wrong?

ZOLA

How can it be?

 

HYDRA AGENT

His mind prevailed!

ZOLA

It's a disaster!

HYDRA AGENT

Our plan’s derailed!

ZOLA andHYDRA AGENT

He saw his captain on the bridge and  
For no reason we can find he’s

ALL

Failed!

HYDRA AGENT

(Spoken)  
Wipe him; take his memories away!

STEVE

(Spoken)  
So you see - it couldn't have been easy!

AGENTS

No one mourns the wicked!  
Now at last, he's dead and gone!  
Now at last, there's joy throughout the world  
And goodness knows  
Who spurns what goodness is  
Goodness knows  
The wicked die alone

STEVE

He died alone

AGENTS

Woe to those  
Who spurn what goodness is  
They are shown  
No one mourns the Wicked

STEVE

Good news!

AGENTS

No one mourns the Wicked!

STEVE

Good news!

AGENTS and STEVE

No one mourns the Wicked!  
Wicked!  
Wicked!


	2. Dear Old Shield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to believe that Sitwell was evil. You can all deal with the fact.

Agent (male):

(spoken)  
Coulson! Is it true - you were Sitwell’s friend?!

COULSON:

(spoken)  
Well - it depends on what you mean by "friend." I did  
know him. That is, our paths did cross. At shield:

AGENTS:

O well-lit halls and big glass walls  
The subtlest sight there is  
(Male:Sight there is)  
When Hydra rose and agents turned  
We shall always remember the lessons learned  
(Females)In our days at dear old Shield  
(Males: dear old Shield)  
Our days at dear old

COULSON:

Oh-oh-oh-oh-ol:

AGENTS AND COULSON:

Dear old Shie-lllllllllllld


	3. The Captain and I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have the inner workings of Coulson's mind.

FURY:

(spoken)  
Oh, Agent Coulson  
(sung/spoken)  
Many years you have waited  
For this plane of his to appear  
Why, I predict the Captain  
Could awake and  
Restart his career!  
Agent, oh Agent  
I'll send you at once to the Captain  
I’ve prepared a flight in advance  
With an obsession like yours, Coulson  
There is a defint-ish chance  
You’ll head up the team  
If you follow this scheme:

 

COULSON:

Did that really just happen?  
Have I actually understood?  
This obsession I've tried  
To suppress or hide  
Is something that could  
Help me meet the Captain  
If I make good  
So I'll make good

 

When I meet the Captain,  
Once he rises from the ice,  
And then I'll meet the Captain  
What I've waited for all,  
(Spoken: All my life!)  
And with all his superpowers,  
By my looks, he won't be blinded  
Do you think the Captain is (Spoken: dumb?)  
Or that my feelings are one-sided?  
(Spoken: No!) He'll say to me,  
"I see who you truly are -  
A man on whom I can rely!"  
And that's how we'll begin  
The Captain and I:

 

Once I'm with the Captain  
My whole life will start  
'Cuz once I’m with the Captain  
We will never be apart!  
No junior agents to annoy you,  
No assassins you have to tame  
And all the world has to love you  
When you’re with the Captain famed.  
And this chance that I have  
To prove what’s inside  
To be much more than a spy  
When we are hand in hand -  
The Captain and I!

 

And one day, he'll say to me, "Coulson,  
A man who is so superior,  
Shouldn't you leave all this paperwork  
To someone far more inferior?  
And since folks here to an absurd degree  
Seem to rely on your expertise  
Would it be all right by you  
If I made my new side-kick you?"

 

And though of course,  
That's not important to me  
"All right, why not?" I'll reply  
Oh, what a pair we'll be  
The Captain and I;  
Yes, what a pair we'll be  
The Captain and…

 

Unlimited  
My future is unlimited  
And I've just had a vision  
Almost like a prophecy  
I know - it sounds truly crazy  
And true, the vision's hazy  
But I swear, someday there'll be  
A celebration throughout Shield  
That's all to do with me!

 

And I'll stand there with the Captain,  
Feeling like I could cry  
And though I'd never show it,  
I'd be so happy, I could die!  
And so it will be  
For the rest of my life,  
And I'll want nothing else  
Till I die  
Held in such high esteem  
When people see me, they will scream  
For half the world’s favourite team;  
The Captain  
And I!!!


	4. What is This Feeling?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After Clint found Natasha and brought her home.

CLINT:

(spoken) Dearest darlingest Agent Coulson **:**

NATASHA:

(spoken) My dear Handler:

BOTH:

There's been some confusion  
Over rooming here at Shield:

NATASHA:

But I’ll try hard not to kill him

CLINT:

But I’ll try to stay out of trouble

BOTH:

For I know that's how you'd want me to respond  
(Spoken:) Yes  
There's been some confusion  
For you see, my roommate is:

CLINT:

Unusually and exceedingly peculiar  
And altogether quite impossible to describe:

NATASHA:

Blond.

 

CLINT:

What is this feeling,  
So sudden and new?

NATASHA:

I felt the moment  
I laid eyes on you;

CLINT:

My pulse is rushing;

NATASHA:

My head is reeling;

CLINT:

My face is flushing;

BOTH:

What is this feeling?  
Does it have a name?  
Yes! Loathing  
Unadulterated loathing

CLINT:

For your face;

NATASHA:

Your voice;

CLINT:

Your clothing;

BOTH:

Let's just say - I loathe it all  
Ev'ry little trait, however small  
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl  
With simple utter loathing  
There's a strange exhilaration  
In such total detestation  
It's so pure, so strong!  
Though I do admit it came on fast  
Still I do believe that it can last  
And I will be loathing  
Loathing you  
My whole life long!

AGENTS:

Dear old Hawkeye, you are just too good  
How do you stand it? I don't think I could!  
She's a terror! She's a murderer!  
We don't mean to show a bias,  
But dear Hawkeye, you're a martyr!

CLINT:

Well; these things are sent to try us!

AGENTS:

Poor Clint Barton, forced to reside  
With someone so leaves you so terrified  
We just want to tell you:  
We're all on your side!  
We share your;

BOTH:

What is this feeling  
So sudden and new?  
I felt the moment I laid eyes on you  
My pulse is rushing  
My head is reeling  
Oh, what is this feeling?  
Does it have a name?  
Yes  
Ahhh

AGENTS(BACKGROUND):

Loathing Unadulterated loathing  
For her face, her voice, her clothing  
let's just say - we loathe it all  
ev'ry little trait however small  
makes our very flesh being to crawl  
AHHH!

BOTH:

Loathing!

AGENTS:

Loathing

BOTH:

There's a strange exhilaration

AGENTS:

Loathing

BOTH:

In such total detestation

AGENTS:

Loathing

BOTH:

It's so pure, so strong

AGENTS:

So strong!

AGENTS:

Though I do admit it came on fast  
Still I do believe that it can last  
And I will be...

AGENTS(BACKGROUND):

Loathing...

BOTH:

Loathing  
For forever...

AGENTS(BACKGROUND):

Loathing...

BOTH:

Loathing,  
Truly deeply loathing you  
Loathing you  
My whole Life long!

AGENTS:

Loathing  
Unadulterated loathing

NATASHA:

Boo!

CLINT:

AH!


	5. Something Bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I smell a whiff of Hydra... Also the Russian belongs to google translate, so if it's wrong, let me know!

NATASHA

(spoken)  
Oh, Captain Rogers - The things one hears these  
days. Dreadful things:  
(sung) I've heard of a man  
Doing all that he can  
To destroy all the good we do  
Who is plotting to hold a coup  
It’s whispered he’s not alone  
They say that Hydra has grown  
We thought they were through  
When you bade them adieu  
Only rumours - but still -  
An identity revealed  
Though the files were sealed  
Something bad is happening in Shield:

STEVE

Something bad? Happening in Shield?

NATASHA

Under the surface  
Behind the scenes  
Something дурной:  
(spoken) Sorry: "Bad":

STEVE

 (spoken) But Natasha - If something bad is happening  
in the agency, someone's got to tell the Avengers.  
That's why we have the Avengers!  
(sung) So nothing bad:

NATASHA

(spoken) I hope you're right!

BOTH

Nothing all that bad:

NATASHA

Nothing truly дурной.  
(spoken) Sorry: "Bad":

STEVE

It couldn't happen here  
In Shield


	6. Fighting through Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a pain and may be revised later. But it got somewhere in the end! The setting is obvious.

CAPTAIN AMERICA:

The trouble with villains is  
They always fight for the wrong reasons  
Believe me, I've punched out  
Enough of them to know  
They want you to become less brave  
To behave  
But I say: is that all you’ve got?  
Stop causing strife  
And learn to live a better type of life

Fighting for life  
Defeating evil  
Making sure Earth is safe  
Life's more fruitful  
When you’re useful  
It many be hard  
But it's the right thing  
Fighting for life  
No need to give up  
Though some of our team members have up and gone  
We are a team  
Still working as a team  
Saving lives  
So keep fighting on

Fighting for life  
Saving civilians  
And always keeping cool  
Life is worthless  
Without purpose  
Those who don't try  
Truly are losers  
Fighting for life  
Fearless and selfless  
You know I’m not just dancing to Fury’s fife.

Loki is frightening  
But Thor has lightning  
Helpful for fighting  
For life  
(spoken) So – where’s the most likely Tesseract location?

IRONMAN:

(spoken) That would be the new Stark Tower.

CAPTAIN AMERICA:

(spoken) Then let’s get it!  
Let's go down to the new Stark Tower  
We can meet there so let’s fly!  
We will fight or we’ll die  
We will save one and all  
Though our numbers are small.  
Right on down to new Stark Tower  
Come on - follow me                      
No choice but to be there

ALL

Fighting for life  
Down in the city

CAPTAIN AMERICA:

Fighting Chitauri  
Where has Loki gone?

ALL

We are a team  
Still working as a team  
Saving lives

CAPTAIN AMERICA:

So keep fighting on

HAWKEYE:

(spoken) Hey Captain - I hope you have at least one  
plan for me. ‘Coz I’m right here. Waiting. Alright?

IRONMAN(spoken) Oh - that's so sweet. But you know what would  
be even better?  
(sung) See those aliens flying around  
The ones everywhere  
Is there anyone here  
Who has arrows to shoot?  
That is you!  
Ooh  
Maybe there would be less of them  
If that someone were to go shoot them all

HAWKEYE:

(spoken) Well, maybe – if I could get higher!

IRONMAN:

Oh, Legolas, really?  
Would you clench up for me?

HAWKEYE:

(spoken) I would do anything for an arrow in Loki’s eye.

IRONMAN:

(spoken) So...

 

CAPTAIN AMERICA:

(spoken) So you’ll be picking off all the strays?

IRONMAN (spoken) Might as well -  
(sung)Aliens in New York City

CAPTAIN AMERICAAND IRONMAN:

If we lose then things won’t be pretty

IRONMAN:

You're all right

CAPTAIN AMERICA:

You're all right

THOR

Back here with my brother  
Fighting one another  
Fighting for life

BLACK WIDOW:

(spoken) Oh, Doctor Banner - isn't it terrible?  
(sung)Finally, for this one night  
There’s a chance for us to save lives  
With this brand new team  
That Coulson found for me  
And I only wish there’d been  
Something I could do for him  
To repay him  
Doctor Banner, see?  
We deserve each other  
Agent Coulson helped us adhere  
We deserve each other,  
The Avengers  
(spoken) Please, Doctor Banner we could use some worse.

HULK:

I’m here.  
Tony listen – I was thinking about what you said earlier.

IRONMAN:

(spoken) And I was just talking about you! I thought you  
might want to bring the big guy to the party about now!  
(sung) He’s really – useful, don't you think?  
You know green is this year's pink  
You deserve each other  
Big guy and you  
You're both so rad  
You deserve each other  
So about now it’s time for you to get mad.

HAWKEYE:

(spoken) Listen, Tasha.

BLACK WIDOW:

(spoken) Yes?

HAWKEYE:

Uh - Tasha  
I've got something to ask you, ah  
There a reason  
Why you are flying in the sky?  
Now it doesn’t seem too clear

BLACK WIDOW:

(spoken) Oh, Clint, you know why.

HAWKEYE:

(spoken) I do?

BLACK WIDOW:

I’m learning how to steer  
But now they are onto me  
Well – could you help?

HAWKEYE:

(spoken) Yes! Yes! I’m on it, on it.  
(sung) We’re fighting the son of Odin

BLACK WIDOW:

And, hey, this whole group is broken!  
So we deserve each other  
Don't you see, we Avengers?  
We deserve each other  
Don't we, Clint?

HAWKEYE:

(spoken) Know what this is?  
(sung)Budapest!

BLACK WIDOW:

(spoken) What?!

HAWKEYE:

Budapest!

ALL

Fighting for life  
Down in the city  
Fighting Chitauri  
Where has Loki gone?  
We’ll be attacked  
‘Til we stop the Tesseract  
So we’re fighting  
On!


	7. Team Mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know this happened after Coulson got May to join the team.

COULSON:

(Spoken)  
Melinda, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project!

MELINDA:

(Spoken)  
You really don't have to do that...

COULSON:

(Spoken)  
I know, that's what makes me so nice!

(Sung)  
Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I,  
And let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?  
My tender heart tends to start to bleed.  
And when someone needs a makeover,  
I simply have to take over!  
I know, I know exactly what they need!

And even in your case,  
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face,  
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed!  
Follow my lead,  
And yes indeed, you will be...

Team mother!  
You're gonna be team mother!  
I'll teach you the proper ways,  
To talk to your strays,  
Little ways to show you care,  
Ooh!  
I'll show you what shoes to wear!  
How to fix your hair!  
Everything that really counts to be...

Team mother!  
I'll help you be team mother!  
You’ll give them the right support,  
They’ll write great reports,  
Learn the things you've got to know.  
So let's start,  
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go!

Don't be offended by my frank analysis,  
Think of it as personality dialysis,  
Now that I've chosen to become a  
Pal, a sister and advisor,  
There's nobody wiser!  
Not when it comes to...

Team mother!  
I know about team mother.  
And with an assist from me,  
To be less scary,  
Instead of chilling who you were...  
Well, are.  
There's nothing that can stop you,  
From becoming team-mother... thar..

La – la, la – la!  
We're gonna make you team-moth-er!

When I see ghastly assassins,  
Who terrify most normal humans,  
I remind them on their own behalf  
To - think - of  
Those people who no one hates,  
Or especially loved Shield strike team leaders!  
Did they have brains or knowledge?  
Don't make me laugh!

They were team mother!  
Please!  
You’ve got to be team mother.  
It's not about aptitude,  
It's the way you're viewed,  
So it's very shrewd to be,  
A really, really great team mother  
Like ME!                

(Spoken)  
Why, Agent May, look at you. You're beautiful!

MELINDA:

(Spoken)  
I, I have to go...

COULSON:

(Spoken)  
You're welcome...

 

(Sung)  
And though you protest,  
Your disinterest,  
I know clandestinely,  
You're gonna grin and bear it!  
Your new role uncomplainingly!  
Aah!

 

La – la, la – la!  
You'll be team mother!  
Just not quite a team mother like ME!


	8. I'm not that girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they couldn't all be happy. Natasha reviews her time as a Red Room Operative.

NATASHA:

Hands gloved, silent feet  
Sudden fire, sudden heat  
Guard spins with a sudden whirl  
I could leave him alive  
But I'm not that girl

 

Keep count of those scars  
Don't lose sight of who you are  
Don't remember that rush of joy  
In the room so red  
I'm not that girl

 

Ev'ry so often we have to kill  
Someone else is inside of my skin  
And nothing will soften the ache we feel  
When reality sets back in

 

Blithe smile, lithe limb  
She who's winsome, she wins him  
Red hair with a gentle curl  
That's the girl he wants  
And the memory haunts  
But I'm not that girl

 

Don't love, don't start  
Loving only wounds the heart  
Don’t listen to the names that they hurl  
That girl is dead  
You’re here instead  
I'm not that girl


	9. One Short Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Helicarrier doesn't fit properly, but it was really hard to resist how adorable this feels.

SKYE

(spoken) Come with me. To Shield’s Helicarrier.

AGENTS

One short day  
On Shield’s Helicarrier

SIMMONS

(spoken) Oh, I've always wanted to see Shield’s Helicarrier!

 

AGENTS

One short day  
On Shield’s Helicarrier

One short day  
On Shield’s Helicarrier  
One short day  
Full of so much to do  
Ev'ry way  
That you look it gets weirder  
Is that something alien?  
Look it’s the Captain!  
And look at that view!

SKYE

There are buttons that I want to push!

SIMMONS

Science toys!

SKYE

This goes whoosh!

SIMMONS

Holograms!

SKYE

Agents!

BOTH

A hundred strong  
There are wonders like I've never seen

SIMMONS

It's all grand

 

SKYE

This big machine!

BOTH

And I think we've found the place where we belong!  
I wanna be  
Up in the sky

SKYE

So I'll be back for good someday

SIMMONS

To make my life and make my way

BOTH

But for today, we'll wander and enjoy:

ALL

One short day  
On Shield’s Helicarrier  
One short day  
To have a lifetime of fun  
One short day

BOTH

We're warning the carrier  
Now that we're in here  
You'll know we've been here

ALL

Before we are done!

SIMMONS

(spoken) Skye - come on - we'll be late for Director Fury!

AGENTS

Who's the man  
Whose major itinerary  
Is building us new carriers?  
Who's the man  
Who's previously saved us all from meteors?  
Whose accurate one eyed shooting  
Has the agents here all swooning?  
Ooo - oo -ooh  
Isn't he wonderful?  
(Our fearless Director!)

AGENTS

One short day                   (Who's the man)  
On Shield’s Helicarrier      (Whose major itinerary)  
One short day                  (Is building us new carriers)  
To have a lifetime of fun  (Whose the man who)  
What a way                      (Previously saved us all)  
To be seeing the city       (From meteors)

SKYE AND SIMMONS

Where so many roam to  
We'll call it home, too  
And then, just like now  
We can say:  
We're just two friends

SKYE

Two good friends

SIMMONS

Two best friends

AGENTS

Sharing one wonderful  
One short...

AGENT

(spoken) The Director will see you now!

 

ALL

Day!


	10. A very suspicious guy

FURY

I am a very suspicious guy  
Who never trusts those who are near me  
That's why I am prepared to die  
With live model decoys to ensure that I  
Remain free.  
But Agent Hill I'd like to raise you high  
Because I seem to have a need  
For one good eye.  
Hydra and AIM are so seditious  
But I foil their plans malicious  
For I am a very suspicious guy


	11. Defying Gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that I had trouble choosing who this should be goes to show that there are too many Marvel characters who just jump off things. Or fall.

COULSON  
(Spoken)  
Why couldn't you have stayed calm, for once! Instead of jumping off the building!

(Sung)  
I hope you're happy  
I hope you're happy now  
I hope you're happy when you've  
Hurt your back forever  
I hope you think you're clever

CLINT  
I hope you're happy  
I hope you're happy too  
I hope you're proud how you would  
Provide this admonition  
Although I finished the mission

COULSON & CLINT  
So though I can't imagine how  
I hope you're happy  
Right now

COULSON  
(Spoken)  
Clint, listen to me. Just say you're sorry!

(Sung)  
You can still be an Avenger   
What you've worked and waited for  
You can have all you ever wanted -

CLINT  
(Spoken)  
I know

(Sung)  
But I just like it - Yes!  
I’ll survive it, like before

I may not have their powers  
I know I’m not the same  
I'm only hanging onto  
This because of my good aim  
Too late for second-guessing  
I feel I’m in too deep  
I like to trust my instincts  
Close my eyes  
And leap...

I like to try defying gravity  
I think I'll try defying gravity  
And you can't pull me down

COULSON  
Can't I make you understand  
You're having delusions of grandeur?

CLINT  
I'm through accepting limits  
'Cause someone says they're so  
Some things I cannot change  
But till I try I'll never know  
You know I’ve never cared for  
Whatever might come to pass  
So you know what?  
Sir you can go and kiss my ass

I'd sooner buy defying gravity  
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity  
And you can't pull me down!

(Spoken)   
Coulson, trust in me. Think of what we could do together!

(Sung)  
Inhibited  
You’re always so inhibited  
Together we'd be the greatest team  
There's ever been - Coulson!  
Dreams the way we planned 'em

COULSON  
If we work in tandem

COULSON & CLINT  
There's no fight we cannot win  
Just you and I, defying gravity  
With you and I defying gravity

CLINT  
They'll never bring us down!

(Spoken)  
Well, are you with me?

COULSON  
I hope you're happy  
Now that you’re choosing this -

CLINT  
(Spoken)  
You too  
(Sung)  
I hope it brings you bliss

COULSON & CLINT  
I really hope you get it  
And you don't live to regret it  
I hope you're happy in the end  
I hope you're happy my friend

CLINT  
So if you look out your window  
You’ll see me falling past!  
I’m sure something will work out  
And if not, sure I’ll end up in a cast  
But if I'm flying solo  
At least I'm flying free  
To those who ground me  
Take a message back from me!

Tell them how I am defying gravity  
I'm flying high, defying gravity  
And soon I'll match them in renown  
I’ll keep doing it all, just coz  
No handler that there is or was  
Is ever gonna bring me down!!

COULSON  
I hope you're happy

AGENTS  
Look at him  
He's falling  
Catch him!!

CLINT  
Bring me down!

AGENTS  
He just keeps on jumping  
And it’s going to bring him -

CLINT  
Ahhhh!

AGENTS  
-Down!


	12. It's Hopeless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologise for how late this is, but I promise I will finish this! You can probably guess when this all takes place.

AGENTS

Ev'ry day, more wicked!  
Ev'ry day, the terror grows!  
All of Shield is ever on alert!  
That's the way with Widow -  
Spreading fear where e'er she goes  
Seeking out new victims she can hurt!

A MEMBER OF HYDRA

Like some terrible great spider  
Which makes us all the flies:

RUMLOW

Confusing our poor Captain  
With her calumnies and lies!

AGENTS

She lies!  
Let us find the Widow!  
Someone help us we’re perplexed!  
Give us warning:  
Where will they strike next?  
Where will they strike next?  
Where will they strike next?

HILL

(spoken) Fellow Agents - as terrifying as terror is, let us put  
aside our panic for this one day: and concentrate!  
(sung) Oh how much concentration  
We need today

AGENTS

It’s hopeless!

HILL

Let's use our concentration  
The Fury way!

AGENTS

It’s hopeless!

PIERCE

Fin'lly a day that's  
Totally Black Widow free!

AGENTS

We couldn't be jumpier  
It’s hopeless!

HILL

Yes -  
I couldn't be stealthier,  
Yes, me!  
Couldn't be stealthier  
And see  
Look what we've got  
A new HYDRA plot  
Inside our own Shield building  
Where I couldn't be stealthier-  
Fury  
Couldn't be stealthier  
He’s not happy to share  
His superb recovery  
With all of you  
He couldn't be trickier  
I couldn't feel certainer  
We couldn't be stealthier  
Because stealthy is what you need  
When all your fears come true!

PIERCE

(spoken)  
Well Hill dear, we're happy for you! As Shield’s  
Leader I have striven to ensure that all of them  
know the story of your promotion:

(sung)  
That day when you were summoned  
To an audience with Fury  
And although he would not tell you why initially  
When he saw the promise you’d shown  
He decreed you'd hence be known  
Deputy Director - officially!

Then with a jealous squeal  
The Black Widow burst from concealment  
Where she had been lurking -surreptitiously

AGENTS

I hear she never shuts her eyes  
And always remains awake  
I hear that she will always know  
Exactly what moves you’ll make!  
I hear some rebel ex-soldier  
Is giving them food and shelter!  
I hear she escapes every jail  
And so we must kill her!

AGENT CARTER

What!?

AGENTS

Kill her!  
Please - somebody go and kill her!

AGENT CARTER

(spoken) Do you hear that – they’re going to kill her! People  
are so empty-headed, they'll believe anything!

HILL

(spoken) Carter! Oh - yes, thanks plenty, Agent! She's gone to  
carry out her consignment. She's so well behaved that way!

(sung)  
That's why I have to be stealthier  
Yes, I have to be stealthier  
Though it is, I admit  
The tiniest bit  
Unlike I anticipated  
But I couldn't be stealthier  
Simply couldn't be stealthier  
(spoken) Well - not "simply":  
(sung) 'Cause not being seen  
It's hard, and it’s been  
A little - well - complicated  
There's a kind of a sort of cost  
There's a couple of things get lost  
There are bridges you cross  
You didn't know you crossed  
Until you've crossed  
And if that fails, they’ll kill  
Which I admit gives me a chill  
Still -  
With this perfect disguising  
And excellent training, who  
Who  
Wouldn't be stealthier?  
So I couldn't be stealthier  
Because stealthy is what you need  
When all your fears come true  
Well, isn't it?  
Stealthy is what you need  
When your fears come true!

AGENTS

We love our Captain, but he is not the same

HILL

It’s hopeless!

AGENTS

For all this fear, we know who we've got to blame  
It’s hopeless!  
Because the Captain, Widow

HILL

And protégée!

AGENTS

They couldn't be deadlier  
She couldn't be creepier  
We couldn’t be jumpier

HILL

I couldn’t be stealthier

AGENTS

It’s hopeless

HILL AND AGENTS

Today!  
So hopeless all today!


	13. Wonderful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is post CATWS

STEVE

I never asked for this  
Or planned it in advance  
I just wanted to help out  
And maybe have a dance  
I never saw myself  
As any hero or Superman  
I knew who I was  
One of your dime a dozen,  
A common man

Then suddenly I'm here  
Respected - worshipped, even  
Just because the folks back home  
Needed someone to believe in  
Does it surprise you?  
I got hooked, and all too soon  
What can I say?  
I entered the fray  
And beat up HYDRA goons.

Wonderful  
They called me "Wonderful"  
So I said "Wonderful" - if you insist  
I will be "Wonderful"  
And they said "Wonderful"  
Believe me, it's hard to resist  
'Cause it feels wonderful  
They think I'm wonderful  
Hey, look who's wonderful -  
This Brooklyn kid  
Who said: "I’ll use a shield  
To make my enemies yield”  
But crash into the ice is what I did.

(spoken)

See - I never had much family of my own. So, I  
guess I just wanted to give the citizens of Earth everything.

WINTER SOLDIER!BUCKY

(spoken)  
So you lied to them.

STEVE

(spoken)  
Dear Bucky, where we’re from, we believe all sorts of  
things that aren't true. We call it - "history."

(sung)  
Iron man’s called crazy - or regularly  
Genius, billionaire philanthropist  
Was I a crusader - or ruthless invader?  
It's all in which label  
Is able to persist  
There are precious few at ease  
With moral ambiguities  
So we act as though they don't exist

They call me "Wonderful"  
So I am wonderful  
In fact - it's so much who I am  
It could be my name  
And with my help, you can be the same  
At long, long last receive your due  
Long overdue  
Oh Bucky - The most celebrated  
Are the rehabilitated  
There'll be such a - whoop-de-doo  
A celebration throughout Earth  
That's all to do - with you

Wonderful  
They'll call you wonderful:

WINTER SOLDIER!BUCKY

It does sound wonderful

STEVE

Trust me - it's fun

BOTH

When you are wonderful  
It would be wonderful  
Wonderful, wonderful

STEVE

One! Two! And…


	14. Not that girl - reprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during the Avengers after some "cognitive recalibration" has occurred.

CLINT:

Don't love, don't start  
Loving only wounds the heart  
There's a guy I know  
He hurt them so  
I'm not that guy


	15. As Long As You're Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I love not shipping Natasha, I do have a soft spot for these two. Also I am a horrible person with a far too busy life and I am sorry that I have been so long in updating this. But it will get finished, I promise.

SAM

Kiss me too fiercely  
Hold me too tight  
I’d say that we have earned  
A break from the fight  
My wildest dreamings  
Could not foresee  
Lying beside you  
With you wanting me

And just for this moment  
As long as you're mine  
Know nothing can hurt us  
When our forces combine  
No secret evil  
Or ghost from the past  
I'll make every last moment last  
As long as you're mine

NATASHA

Maybe I'm brainless  
Maybe I'm wise  
But you've got me seeing  
Through different eyes  
I never thought that  
I’d feel like this  
But somehow I'm feeling  
This feeling of bliss

BOTH

Every moment  
As long as you're mine  
It feels time stops for us  
The stars seem to align

SAM

Say there's no future  
For us as a pair

BOTH

And though I may know  
I don't care  
Just for this moment  
As long as you're mine  
Come be how you want to  
‘Cos I think you’re just fine  
Forget what’s happened  
We’ve got something new  
And know I'll be here holding you  
As long as you're mine

SAM

(spoken)  
What is it?

NATASHA

(spoken)  
It's just for the first time,  
I feel ... normal.


	16. No Good Deed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I knew Russian the chanting could have been so much cooler... Alas, it was not to be.

NATASHA

(spoken) Fury!  
(sung) Hydra is SHIELD SHIELD  
My home, my home - Hydra is SHIELD  
Hydra is SHIELD SHIELD  
My home, my home - Hydra is SHIELD

Please let this, not be true  
Let this be one more dream  
One more nightmare  
Not some evil scheme  
Once again, in the wrong  
Seems however I try  
To better life  
Seems it’s just a lie  
Seems it’s just a lie

Hydra is SHIELD SHIELD  
My home, my home - Hydra is SHIELD  
Hydra is SHIELD SHIELD  
My home, my home - Hydra is Hydra is -

What good is this running?  
I don't even know what I'm thinking!  
I don't even know what’s real and what’s a lie  
Oh Barton, where are you?  
Already dead or bleeding.  
One more disaster I can add to my  
Generous supply

No good deed goes unpunished  
No act of charity goes unresented  
No good deed goes unpunished  
That's my new creed  
My road of good intentions  
Led where such roads always lead  
No good deed  
Goes unpunished!

Coulson  
Alexi, Budapest  
Fury  
Fury!!!!!!!!!

I should have seen through this,  
Hydra, Hydra’s deception  
I thought I was doing good  
Well, I made that presumption  
I thought that I could help  
And make up for the things that I’d done  
But all I did to help  
Just ensured that Hydra won

No good deed goes unpunished  
All helpful urges should be circumvented  
No good deed goes unpunished  
Sure, I meant well -  
Well, look at what well-meant did:  
All right, enough - so be it  
So be it, then:  
Let all SHIELD be agreed  
I'm wicked through and through  
Since I can not succeed  
Fury, saving you  
I promise no good deed  
Will I attempt to do again  
Ever again  
No good deed  
Will I do again!


	17. March of the Hulk-busters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Bruce isn't strictly part of SHIELD, but this just worked, so ah well...

ARMY

Go and hunt him  
And find him  
And kill him

VICIOUS WOMAN

(spoken) Good fortune, Hulk-busters!

ARMY

Go and hunt him  
And find him  
And kill him

ABOMINATION

(spoken) Kill the Hulk!

ARMY

Wickedness must be punished  
Evil effectively eliminated  
Wickedness must be punished  
Kill the Hulk!

GENERAL ROSS

(spoken) And this is more than just a service to the world.  
I have a personal score to settle with Doctor Ban– with  
The Hulk!

(sung) The Hulk stole my daughter from me  
But I know she was conned  
And I know how to get her back,  
She’ll be mine when he is gone!

CROWD

(Cheer)

 

And Blonsky also  
Has a grievance to repay  
If Hulk had surrendered not battled  
Just given up  
He wouldn't be a monster today!

CROWD

Kill him! Kill the Hulk!

ALL

Wickedness must be punished  
Brave Hulk-busters, I would join you if I could  
Because wickedness must be punished  
Punished  
Punished  
For good!


	18. For Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post Avengers and Pre-CATWS.

CLINT:

I'm compromised  
Just look at me - I'm compromised  
And just look at you  
You can do all I couldn't do, Tasha  
So now it's up to you  
No Team Delta - now it's up to you...

NATASHA:

I've heard it said  
That people come into our lives for a reason  
Bringing something we must learn  
And we are led  
To those who help us most to grow  
If we let them  
And we help them in return  
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true  
But I know I'm who I am today  
Because I knew you...

Like an arrow loosed from your bow  
When you’re watching my back  
Hawkeye I know I can trust you  
To act as you should  
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?  
But because I knew you  
I have been changed for good

CLINT:

It well may be  
Ev’ry mission could be our last  
Our work’s risky  
I guess we knew that from the start  
So much of me  
Is made of what I learned from you  
You'll be with me  
Like a handprint on my heart  
And now whatever way our stories end  
I know you have re-written mine  
By being my friend...

It doesn’t matter what comes next  
In this journey called life  
You’ll remain my soul mate, ‘though we  
Don’t feel as we should  
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?  
But because I knew you

NATASHA:

Because I knew you

BOTH:

I have been changed for good

CLINT:

And just to clear the air  
I ask forgiveness  
For the things I've done you blame me for

 

NATASHA:

But then, I guess we know  
There's blame to share

 

BOTH:

And none of it seems to matter anymore

NATASHA:

Like an arrow loosed from your bow  
When you’re watching my back  
Hawkeye I know I can trust you  
To act as you should

CLINT:

It doesn’t matter what comes next  
In this journey called life  
You’ll remain my soul mate, ‘though we  
Don’t feel as we should

BOTH:

Who can say if I've been  
Changed for the better?  
I do believe I have been  
Changed for the better

NATASHA:

And because I knew you...

CLINT:

Because I knew you...

BOTH:

Because I knew you...  
I have been changed for good...


	19. Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And much later than it should have been, it all comes to an end!

AGENTS

No one mourns the Wicked.  
Now at last he's dead and gone.  
Now at last there's joy throughout the land.  
Good news!  
Good news!

NATASHA & STEVE

Who can say if I've been changed for the better, but.

 

CLINT, BUCKY, STEVE & NATASHA

Because I knew you.

AGENTS

No mourns the Wicked.

CLINT & BUCKY

Because I knew you.

 

CLINT, BUCKY, STEVE & NATASHA

I have been changed.

AGENTS

No one mourns the wicked!  
Wicked!  
Wicked!

**  
**


End file.
